Smart Alec Appliances

IN a story I cannot pretend to understand, I read this week that a fridge has been sending out spam messages. If it had been sending messages about Spam, that pink luncheon meat much beloved in the war, it would have made more sense to me.

But, no, it seems all kinds of equipment can be programmed to send out email messages, as long as they are “smart” gadgets i.e. can connect to the internet.

This malware that sends out malicious emails can be installed by a hacker on kitchen appliances, routers, media systems and televisions. Don’t worry, it’s all done remotely – no spotty geek with minimal social skills and a personal hygiene problem will be dropping by your house with a screwdriver and laptop.

But it’s a growing problem, made easy for the spammers because there are so few safeguards on many “smart” gadgets.

It could come in handy, though. Perhaps your fridge could email you at work to say you are running short of yak ’s milk and ask you to pick up some more on the way home. Or it could warn you your cheese is developing a nice blue, furry sheen and it is time you dumped it. Or it could harangue you when you put in some sugar-laden confectionery with dire warnings about looking like the side of a house.

I mentioned all this to the better half. He looked at me as if I had crawled out from under a stone in the Jurrasic Era and told me this was already happening.

What? A quick trawl of the internet showed me he was right. Some smart refrigerators are able to detect the type of items stored in it and keep track of important details such as expiry and usage.

I was quite taken with this and was hoping other household appliances worked in a similar way.

Wouldn’t it be great if your iron could start up a friendly conversation with your husband? That would have come in very handy in my house. The better half once phoned me at work to ask where we kept the iron. I took great delight in telling him it was in exactly the same place it had been for the last 25 years. If he could have shouted, "Where are you, iron?"  and the iron replied, “I’m in the hall cupboard!” it would have been a great help.

Not that I want my kitchen appliances developing too much of a mind of their own. I don’t want my Dyson dissing my vacuuming skills and reminding me to move the sofa to clean underneath or my cooker laughing at my lack of baking expertise, or my microwave admonishing me, "What? Another ready meal?"

I think I'll stick with my "unsmart" appliances after all.

Before you leave:

You can follow me on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. As you can see, I have far too much to say for myself.

• Please feel free to leave a comment. I love to hear from you and will reply and visit your blog, if you have one, if I can. 
• You really don't want to miss my next post. It could be my best one ever (or not... who knows)! Enter your email address top right and FeedBurner will tell you every time there's an update.