No Hopers, Jokes and Rogues by the Fisherman's Friends
It's good to be good, of course, but it's the no hopers, jokers and rogues who make life interesting. Who doesn't love a joker to cheer up a grey day? Who hasn't laughed at the antics of the rogues in their life? Even the no hopers have their place, even if it's just to remind you that maybe your life isn't so bad after all.
When it comes to scoundrels, I must admit to a sneaking admiration for one Victor Lustig who in the early part of the last century sold the Eiffel Tower - twice. As you might have guessed, it wasn't his to sell!
He read how difficult and expensive it was for the city to repair and maintain the Eiffel Tower and some had called for its removal. This gave the ever inventive Lustig an idea for a scam. He hired a forger to make fake government stationery and invited a group of scrap metal dealers to a meeting. He introduced himself as the deputy director-general of the Ministry of Posts and Telegraphs and told them the French government wished to sell the Eiffel Tower for scrap.
He singled out André Poisson, an insecure man who wanted to rise in the Parisian business community, as a likely mark.
Lustig convinced Poisson that he was a corrupt official who wanted to make money from the deal and Poisson agreed to pay a large bribe to secure ownership. He handed over 70,000 francs, about $1m in today's money. Lustig ran away to Austria.
Lustig banked on the belief that Poisson would be too embarrassed to admit he had been conned. He was right so Lustig returned to Paris to pull off the scheme once more. This time, however, the group wasn't quite so gullible and the police were informed. Lustig fled to America, where he attempted to scam Al Capone - but that's another story!
Here are the lyrics to No Hopers, Jokers and Rogues, if you want to sing along:
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
Leave all your furrows in the fields where they lie
Your factories and offices, kiss them all goodbye
Have a little faith in the dream maker in the sky
There's glory in believing in
And it's all in the beholder's eye
Your factories and offices, kiss them all goodbye
Have a little faith in the dream maker in the sky
There's glory in believing in
And it's all in the beholder's eye
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
Turn off your engines and slow down your wheels
Suddenly your master plan loses its appeal
Everybody knows that this reality's not real
So raise a glass to all things past
And celebrate how good it feels
Suddenly your master plan loses its appeal
Everybody knows that this reality's not real
So raise a glass to all things past
And celebrate how good it feels
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
Wash in the sea of our own vanity
We should rejoice in our individuality
Though winds, gail force
Will stear our course to insanity
We should rejoice in our individuality
Though winds, gail force
Will stear our course to insanity
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes
It might be a ladder to the stars, who knows?
Come all you no hopers, you jokers and rogues
* In memory of tour manager Paul McMullen and singer Trevor Grills who died in a tragic accident in 2013 when a steel door fell on them while preparing for a show at Guildford.
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Enjoyed the song and was fascinated with Victor Lustig's story. What a pair on that man. Phew. Looked for his book but so far my library doesn't have it. Will keep looking.
ReplyDeleteKind of sounds like the person who tried to sell the Brooklyn Bridge. It's amazing what con artists try to get away with.
ReplyDeleteThat was some con artist!
ReplyDeleteI like the song, it's quite catchy.
ReplyDeleteThat was interesting. I had never heard of him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! I was sorry to read about Paul McMullen and singer Trevor Grills.
ReplyDelete